TUESDAY
New York City → San Jose

*Spend entire day figuring out how the hell to fit a week’s worth of clothing into a backpack and small duffle.
*Whitney helps me strategically roll outfits.
*Somehow everything magically seems to fit.
*Debate if 6 headbands and 5 pairs of leggings is too much.
*Decide it’s not.
*Get picked up in an Escalade like a baller.
*Flight leaves on time.
*Watch 75% of Marley & Me on plane. Can’t bear to watch end.
*Nap.
*Arrive safely in San Jose.
*Don’t see hotel’s shuttle service.
*Trust shady cab lady to do the job.
*Arrive at swank hotel.
*Terrify bellboy carrying my bags with shrieks and screams upon seeing Emma.
*Hug her for a long time.
*Emma is impressed by my packing skillz.
*Grab drinks at hotel bar.
*Already confused by exchange rate.
*Catch up on juicy gossip out by beautiful pool.
*Bed early.

WEDNESDAY
San Jose → La Fortuna

*Early morning breakfast + laying out by pool. 
*Emma tells me we’ll be taking a public bus to La Fortuna.
*I die.
*At bus station, pay 150 colones to use bathroom that doesn’t even have toilet seats.
*Have terrible tummy ache.
*Bounce up and down on bus for several hours.
*Tire blows out on winding, steep mountain.
*Think I have been shot.
*Practice basic Spanish with Emma as we pass things. “Las vacas!” “La casa!” “La puerta!”
*3-year-old behind us doing same thing.
*3-year-old is better.
*Arrive in La Fortuna 5 hours later.
*Settle into our first hostel of the trip.
*Miss things like A/C, tiny shampoo bottles, room service.
*Swim in the hostel pool – best part of the complex.
*Have big dinner at Don Rufinos.
*Have more trouble with currency. 580 colones = $1 = exchange rate FAIL.
*Go to Lava Lounge.
*Flirt with bartenders.
*Do shots (despite having to be on horses at 9AM).
*Argue about bill.
*Make funny videos back at hostel.
*Sleep.


THURSDAY
La Fortuna

*Wake up with slight hangover.
*Take cab to ranch so we can “ride horses to a waterfall.”
*Hop on horse named Violin. Emma hops on Tito.
*Think that trail will be easy, relaxing, quick.
*Try to stay in saddle when Violin randomly gallops/gets bored.
*Grunt and shriek a lot when horse does something new/unexpected/terrifying.
*Ride horses down rough, steep, rocky barely-there trails.
*More grunts, more shrieks.
*Breathe in mass amounts of fresh air.
*Emma’s horse shits and wipes his ass on my pants.
*This is only funny to me later.
*Get off horses after a few miles.
*Walk down mountain. Not amused when I realize we will have to walk back up.
*Learn we must wade through a tiny river to see beautiful waterfall up close.
*Refuse. (Diva in a jungle.)
*Eventually give in to Emma’s persuasion.
*Roll up pants to thighs, remove shoes.
*Wade.
*Feel outdoorsy.
*See gorgeous waterfall in all its glory.
*Hike back up mountain.
*Costa Rica Boot Camp 09.
*Get back on horses.
*Ride through beautiful lush hills and rivers.
*More grunts and shrieks.
*Feel bowlegged/injured when we get off horses.
*Too much bouncing.
*Sore, but invigorated.
*Catch glimpse of Arenal Volcano. 
*Nap.
*Cab to Baldi Hot Springs.
*Wear a sports bra to swim.
*Relax for hours in soothing warm water. 
*Drink a beer. At a bar. In a pool. In a sports bra. Clearly a first.
*Bed early.

FRIDAY
La Fortuna → Monteverde

*Coffee for the first time all trip. Having serious Starbucks withdrawals.
*Method of transportation today: Jeep-Boat-Jeep
*Ask Emma why there are so many jeeps in the equation.
*Boat ride is breathtaking.
*Can’t stop singing “I’m on a Boat” from SNL digital short.
*Arrive at Monteverde.
*Check in to another hostel.
*Want to be back at the Ramada.
*Sign up to do ziplining.
*Mass amounts of rain in the rainforest. Go figure. 
*Fitted for harness, gloves and helmet.
*Shudder at appearance.     
*Ziplinining instructor makes jokes about getting stuck/falling, etc.
*Not funny. Cry.
*Do my first zipline. In the rain. Thrilling.
*No longer terrified.
*Do 14 more ziplines.
*Can see entire jungle while hanging miles above land.
*Forget to break during one session. Full force knock out guy on platform.
*Repel down a tree/mountainside.
*Can’t believe the extent of my bravery.
*Watch Emma do Tarzan swing.
*Talk to Texas boys.
*Realize flirting is useless in harness, helmet, mudface.
*More hiking.
*Leave course wet, muddy and happy.
*Vow to never wear another harness.
*Unintentional COLD SHOWER at hostel.
*Dinner at Treehouse Café.
*Eat lots of guac.
*Drink lots of sangria.
*Listen to live music.
*Call Emma a party pooper.
*Check email.
*Photo shoot.
*Go to bed in 6x6 room.

SATURDAY
Monteverde → Manuel Antonio

*Wake up with unbridled excitement at the thought of leaving hostel.
*Take private shuttle to Manuel Antonio.
*Stop at a rest stop inhabited by parrots.
*Parrots dive-bomb us.
*Eat plantains.
*Back on shuttle. 
*Arrive at fancy schmancy Parador Hotel.
*Dude hands us hot towel and pineapple drink (with umbrella!!) upon arrival.
*Swoon.
*Get upgraded from jungle room to premium suite.
*Gawk at view from room’s balcony.
*Haul ass to infinity pool.
*Swim and lounge all afternoon.
*Picture a life where this is the norm.
*Shower and powder noses.
*Go to happy hour at hotel bar.
*Have romantic dinner.
*Let Emma convince me that we don’t NEED to go out on Saturday night.
*Pout.
*Get over it when I realize we finally get to see monkeys (!!) tomorrow.
*Bed.

SUNDAY
Manuel Antonio

*Take shuttle to Manuel Antonio National Park.
*Hire a nature guide named Wilber.
*See the following: Sloths, Bats, Crabs, Toucans, Ants, Birds I Don’t Care About, Insects I Don’t Care About (WHERE ARE THE MONKEYS?!)
*Wilber is disappointed he has not found us monkeys.
*Wilber gets word from his amigos that Whiteface Cappuccino monkeys are running wild near the beach.
*Monkey Watch ‘09.
*Lay out on gorgeous white sand beach.
*Splash in Pacific Ocean waves.
*Stay in sun too long.
*Realize we only have $5 to our name until we get back to hotel.
*Share a strawberry smoothie ala Lady and the Tramp.
*Cool off sunkissed sunfucked skin in pool.
*Clean up.
*Head to downtown Quepos for drinks.
*Get directions to shady salsa club called Archimedes.
*Must cross dark, scary bridge to access.
*Club is hoppin’ for a Sunday night.
*Hot mess Spanish karaoke + salsa dancing = winning combo.
*Drink lots of screwdrivers.
*Meet American boys.
*Night gets blurry.
*Just kidding, mom & dad.
*Dance, take pics, bar hop.
*Decide we are glad we have nothing strenuous to do Monday morning.
*Sleep at 4AM.


MONDAY
Manuel Antonio → San Jose

*Obviously wake up with a hangover.
*Get our money’s worth at breakfast.
*Check out of fabulous hotel.
*Take shuttle back to San Jose.
*Sleep on an entire row of seats.
*Bumpiest. Ride. Ever. (Thatswhatshesaid.)
*Wake up with my left boob completely out of my clothes.
*Decide not to sleep anymore.
*Arrive at Backpackers Costa Rica hostel.
*HOSTILE HOSTEL environment.
*Emma tells me to have a positive attitude.
*Room has: double bed with heebie-jeebies sheets, a tiny nightstand and A BUCKET.
*Rightfully perturbed. 
*Walk in rain to find food.
*Eat Chinese food in Latin America.
*More late night chats with my best friend.
*Put towel on bed in fear of pretty much everything.
*Will not shower in anything communal.
*Can’t sleep.
*Want to murder several wild backpackers.


TUESDAY
San Jose → New York City

*Wake up at 4AM for airport shuttle.
*Zombie my way through security.
*Locate a Cinnabon.
*Ask for sugariest, caffeiniest coffee drink they have.
*Watch Yes Man and Bride Wars on plane.
*Take $70 cab from Newark to apartment.
*Breathe in  smog, smoke, meat carts, exhaust…
*Miss Emma and Costa Rica.
*LOVE LOVE LOVE being back in my city.
*Avoid writing this post for several days.