- C: Have fun @ the wedding! Kiss a ton of boys!
- S: I'll literally be the only single person there.
- C: Well wreck some homes then, I don't know.
You didn’t think I’d go my entire career without dropping a Friday Night Lights reference, did you?
New York today was effortlessly ***flawless.
Tribute lights on the eve of 9/11.
New York, I love you. Today and yesterday and always.
- Me: Have you watched The Singles Project?
- Mom: Yes, some of it. Just proves the terrible odds of finding love in NYC.
- Me: Ha, that's the spirit!
- Mom: Would you date any of the guys on the show?
- Me: There's one cute-ish straight dude, but he doesn't drink.
- Mom: So, NO.
- Me: The gay guy on the show is precious though.
- Mom: Ok, well I think you have enough of those??
How to make fancy delicious grilled tomatoes:
1. Choose your own recipe adventure.
2. Fuck that shit up pretty quickly.
3. Add decoration (oregano) to make it look less like garbage.
4. Tell your pile of dishes to go to hell.
5. Use your kitchen for what it’s intended for: pouring wine & popping popcorn.
What I have written—and how I came to write it—is most powerfully what I am.
New York is strange in the summer. Life goes on as usual but it’s not, it’s like everyone is just pretending, as if everyone has been cast as the star in a movie about their life, so they’re one step removed from it. And then in September it all gets normal again.
But she probably just wanted an iPhone.